It’s me against the world. . .

by Melissa | Blog Post, Commentary on the world around me, My words

The tightrope that I’m walking just sways and ties.

The devil, as he’s talking, with those angel’s eyes.

And I just wanna be there when the lightning strikes.

And the saints go marching in

 

And sing slow it down,

Through chaos as it swirls,

It’s us against the world.

Right now I am, for lack of a better world, struggling.  I feel as if everything is moving quickly and I just can’t keep up.

Now, this is not to say things are bad for me right now – in fact things are pretty decent.  However, I keep running into large and dominant road blocks when I try to do things; if it isn’t writers block, then it’s no motivation, lack of creativity, exhaustion, too many ideas, lack of tools needed, the list goes on and on.

Now I read a question posed once about creativity and whether everyone is given a certain amount and once you use it up, it’s gone.

I surely hope this isn’t the case.

Without creativity, a lot of what makes me me would be lost.  The thought of this makes me worry since I’ve spent so much time and energy trying to discover who I am and what makes me happy.  Now is not the time to have all of that crumble.

And if we could float away,
Fly up to the surface and just start again.
And lift off before trouble just erodes us in the rain
Just erodes us in the rain
Just erodes us and see roses in the rain

 

Sing slow it down
Slow it down

 

Through chaos as it swirls,
It’s us against the world.
Through chaos as it swirls,
It’s us against the world

I can’t force it.  That will only make things worse.  I need to just be in the moment and seize opportunities.  Forcing it or dwelling on my lack of creativity and motivation will only make me angry and frustrated – causing the whole cycle to repeat and get worse.

I need to process my thoughts and emotions.  I need to get outside and get fresh air.  I need to just stop living inside my head.  I can’t force this either.  It really seems like a lose/lose.

But if it is one thing I know, is that I’ve been here before and I’ve made it through.  I can do it again, I just need to have a little patience and faith.

Quotes are from Coldplay’s “Us Against the World”