by Melissa | Blog Post, Commentary on the world around me
Last night I was sad to hear about the passing of Whitney Houston. She had a true gift which will live on through her music.
Addiction is a real, and often fatal, struggle for many people. Too often people do not know how or where to get help – in some cases due to barriers to access or the stigma related to such problems. The same is true for other mental illnesses as well.
This leads me to pose the question: When can there be a real discussion about how mental health is as important as physical heath?
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by Melissa | Blog Post, Music, Random musings
I will admit, I never really listened to Bjork before, a sad byproduct of the apparent musical cave I live in. (I’m working on it, the whole “expanding my musical horizons thing”). However after I saw a mention of one of her songs somewhere, I fired up one of the best things I’ve ever had to feed my addiction to music, Spotify, and did a quick search. Other than a brief period where I was in a Natalie Merchant mood, I’ve pretty much been on an all-Bjork-all-the-time kick.
Luckily for me, I have quite a lot to catch up on, but already have some favorites among her songs.
What was this realization I came to this weekend? I’m a fan of her music, really dig the vibe of the tracks, and am upset that I didn’t listen to it sooner. It’s like she found a way to turn the randomness that goes on in my head and in my life into music.
Her songs are varied – some are upbeat and peppy, while others are much more low-key and almost sad. They go from very electronic to songs having orchestral elements and everything in between. They are quite random, and quirky and I enjoy it immensely (even if most of the time I have no idea what she is saying).
Even after a few days of listening, you can see how her music has grown and developed and changed, while still staying the same at its core. I’d like to think this is a reflection of the journey that any one of us goes through over time. We are constantly adapting to our life experiences and adding to taking away things that maybe just don’t fit anymore or that add value to what we are doing.
Long story short, I really am loving this musical journey I’ve been on as of late. I’ve found some great new music, added a few tracks to my Me playlist.
I may be unexpectedly counting myself as a fan of Bjork, at to a greater extent “electronic” music, just don’t expect me to start wearing some of the “outfits” she does.
And with that, I will retreat back to my comfy chair and do some more reading. I hope everyone is having a relaxing weekend and that you took some time to do something for you.
Much <3 to you all.
Cheers 🙂
P.S. Don’t forget to check out my latest and greatest adventure www.divaunleashed.com!
by Melissa | Blog Post, Random musings
This Monday was one for me. Not for anyone else. Just me. And it was fabulous.
Why? It was different. While, this is a one-time thing (not having to be at work until noon), it was needed, wanted, and exactly perfect.
Simplicity was the theme of the morning. I woke up, fed the four-leggers, ate a bowl of cereal and drank some coffee in bed. Then went to my office, cued up some jazz on Spotify and sat in my awesome plaid chair, sipping on more coffee and reading.
Really, doesn’t get much better than this.
I’ve said it before, and it warrants being repeated again – take time to do something for you. It recharges your spirit and is soothing to the soul.
To quote Tom Haverford – Treat. Yo. Self.
I also needed this morning of relaxation since the rest of this week will be a mad sprint to Wednesday. Starting something new and getting excited.
I wish you all a week of positivity, productivity, and ample time to relax.
by Melissa | Blog Post, Random musings
Or is it?
Is looking back and thinking about our previous actions and thoughts and experiences a good thing? Or is it an exercise in futility since we can’t go back and change or undo the past? Does it provide clarity and the opportunity to learn from a distance? Does looking back allow us some perspective or is it a waste of time and energy and thoughts?
I say: yes and no, good and bad, helpful and hurtful.
At its core, I find that looking back and reflecting on the past is an exercise that everyone should do – to a certain extent. Yes, you can’t “unring a bell”. You can’t hop into a flying Delorean and toss some garbage into Mr. Fusion and head back to undo or redo a moment in your past to change the present.
What can this reflection offer? It can help you see patterns in your life, both good a bad, which can help you in the future. You can use the distance and reflection provides to learn your true motives or wants or needs, again which will be beneficial in the future. You can also see things that maybe didn’t turn out the way you wanted and work to “fix” things going forward.
It can also be somewhat hurtul. You can spend too much time thinking about what you no longer have – whether good or bad – and miss a lot of what is happening to you now. It can be a distraction. It can keep you from moving forward. It can taint your view of the world, of people, of yourself. While doing a bit of this is ok, but to steal a quote from the movie Elizabethtown , “You have five minutes to wallow in the delicious misery: enjoy it, embrace it, discard it… and proceed.”
You have to proceed. It may not be what you want, but the fact remains – and it’s a hard fact to accept at times, I know this firsthand – you can’t change what is already done.
Once you truly understand this, it’s oddly liberating. You can view the past with the proper lens, and not let it overwhelm you. You can never and should never ignore the past, you just have to make sure you engage with it in an appropriate way.
I’m working on doing just this. I need to not focus on what I can’t change, but focus on what I want to change and what will help me be the best me now and moving forward. I need to focus on the lessons the past can offer and for the happiness and fond memories.
I need to remind myself that “Nothing is worth more than this day.” Live for today. Live for what and who is in your life now. Learn from the past, live for today and prepare yourself for the future.
by Melissa | Blog Post, Random musings
How many times have you been asked – or asked yourself – this question. How much time or energy have you spent crafting your answer to this? It seems like more often than not, the answers to this question tend to be of the “established in my career, married, 2.5 kids, with a nice house in the burbs” variety. People want to seem put together and focused, and attain certain life benchmarks that equal “success” by someone’s measure. These are the things that people seem to equate with happiness as well.
Is this the best or only way to answer this question?
No.
Can we look at this – and should we – from a different perspective?
I say yes to both. Emphatically.
What if, instead of thinking into the distant future, we focused on a five minute plan. Think of something you can do in the near future that you want to do. Not what someone tells you to. Not what you think you should be doing, but what you want to do. Something that adds meaning to your life or makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be something huge, or immediately life changing, but it will have an impact and move you further towards your ultimate goals.
Also, instead of thinking about “things”, try to focus on bigger picture things like being happy, having a job you love, or being surrounded by people that love and support you regardless of the “things” you have or don’t. At the end of day, these are the things that I know make me feel rewarded and fulfilled.
These approaches also allow for more freedom, more exploration, more chances to try new and different things since you’re not tying yourself to any one path. This allows you to truly listen to yourself to figure out what the best path for *you* is – not what someone else tells you or you think is the right answer. Live life for you. Don’t be afraid of making some wrong turns.
Listen to your heart, be happy, and follow what inspires you. You may end up taking a slight detour, but you’re still on your way to where you are meant to be.
by Melissa | Blog Post, Random musings
2011. Oh, what a year you were. You provided some great times and some not so great times. A lot of people hated you and can’t wait to move ahead to the next year. My feelings towards you are a bit more complex and live quite firmly in the gray area between hate and love. While I could likely write a book recapping my thoughts on this year, I’m just going to hit on a few key moments.
2011 is the year I lost a dear friend. Kent Berg, I miss you and always will. I miss your humor, your sass, your fiercness, and your love for late-night Sonic runs. I am thankful to have been assigned to the staging location in the middle of nowhere southern Minnesota at the house with the AMAZING bathroom wallpaper. You were such a great support to me during 2007 and as I transitioned into my new job, and I hope I offered some support as you moved ahead with your career. I am sorry if I never told you directly how much you meant to me, what an inspiration and amazing person. You brought laughter to a room, and knew how to connect with people to make them comfortable.
When I heard of your passing, I didn’t believe it. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t believe you were gone. I still have moments where I think I see you walking down Selby towards Nina’s or want to text you about something funny that I saw or read. I am thankful for the time we ran into each other outside of Nina’s, which ended up being the last time we saw each other. I must have known that something was going to happen, because I felt compelled to give you a huge hug to try to tell you how much I valued you and our friendship. A few weeks before you died, I sent you a gchat telling you I missed you. Again, I must have known deep down and needed to send you that message. I only wish that it might have changed the outcome of what happened, but know that I will never know why you did what you did. I just know that you know longer are in pain and are at peace now.
For anyone that may be reading this that needs some help, or knows someone that is struggling, please don’t hesitate to ask for assistance. It can and will get better. It may be hard. It may hurt a lot. It may take time, but in the end you can get through just about anything.
There are a number of resources out there for folks, and I’m listing a few below:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
The Trevor Project
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
1-866-488-7386
2011 will also be the year that a lot of things became much clearer to me. I started to realize a lot of things about myself and who I am, what I want to do and who I want to be. Much of this I’ve written about here, so I won’t do a full recap in this post, but it it is truly an amazing experience to listen to yourself and make decisions based on what makes you happy and content.
Throughout this year I have also met a number of amazing people and also strengthened friendships with people I already knew. Although I may not say it nearly enough, I am truly thankful for your friendship, support, kind words, doses of reality, laughter, suggestions of things to read, watch or listen to, inspiration, kindness, awkward shoulder pats (or hugs when appropriate), feedback, kindness, and for you being you.
I also reconnected with a lot of passions in my life that had somewhat taken a backseat while I was working on campaigns and getting settled into life in Minnesota – photography, music, Harry Potter, TV, movies, fangirling (and not ashamed to admit it. . most of the time), traveling. I also discovered some new passions as well – this whole writing thing I do here, quiet time, and cooking more stuff from scratch. These are things that help make me a more fulfilled person and allow me to feed the different parts of my personality and quite honestly make me happy.
This year also included me getting my first ink. Now, this is something I debated for awhile, both the merits of doing it, along with the question of what to get and location. However, my trip to Nepal helped end this debate and a few weeks ago I found myself at a studio in St. Paul getting not one, but two (!) tattoos. The first one is a koru on my foot. The koru is a Maori symbol that means rebirth, new beginnings and spirituality. The second is a white ink tattoo of a star on my wrist. When I learned about this technique I was excited and knew it would solve one of my problems with where I wanted to get a tattoo. If/When you see me, you probably won’t notice it, but it is there to be a constant reminder of a number of things. No one (other than me) knows the full inspiration behind it but I am really pleased with my decision to get it.
The best part of 2011, hands down, was my trip to Nepal. It changed my life in some pretty amazing ways and helped me realize a number of things. I wasn’t expecting it to be more than 2 weeks away from work and my first trip to Asia, but it ended up being so much more than that. I have some amazing memories – me dancing around to the Glee version of “Firework” overlooking Mt. Everest, paragliding, and EL GATOOOO – that really just left an impact. I was also reminded of my love of traveling and how much I need to to feed my soul and renew my spirit. Long story short – I suffer from a strong case of the wanderlust, and it’s something I need to make sure I indulge in whenever possible.
After spending some time reflecting on the past year, I’m going to say that for the most part the good out weighed the bad during 2011. I’m excited about what 2012 will bring and some new endeavors I have planned. As I said on my facebook earlier this week, I feel as if I’m entering 2012 as a better, stronger, more confident person. I’ve experienced and grown a lot, and I’m looking forward to what the future brings.
I end with this:
Be thankful. Be happy. Be in the moment. Don’t be afraid to do, be afraid of not doing. Embrace change and the unknown. Learn and share. Take care of you. Give yourself to others. Dream. Be the brightest star you can. Live.
Happy New Year to all of you. Be safe. Stay safe. And I look forward to sharing 2012 with you.
