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I came across another post on Thought Catalog today that just kind of hit me – not in a bad way, but more in the “this is an interesting thing to think about. . .”.  To be honest, at first I was drawn in mainly because of the title, because who doesn’t want wisdom from someone who has their life figured out.  Granted, I’m not sure that such a person exists because no matter how much control you have over yourself or how much you think you know yourself, there is always one thing we can’t predict or control – the wild crazy world around us and the people in it.

 

One part of the post that really struck me was this:

 

“One day I’ll be someone who has band-aids in their medicine cabinet and has a dog and bakes bread for fun and LOLs. But that day isn’t today. I guess the one good thing about being someone who doesn’t have it all figured out is that you’re able to see real growth. The changes are palpable. You see yourself evolving, which can often be a beautiful process. I don’t have it figured out but I know more than I did yesterday. It must be boring to always know.”

As someone that has spent a great deal of time over the past few years trying to figure things out and getting settled into “adulthood” – you know, that time in your life when you make big decisions about where your career path is going to go, buying a house, setting up a retirement account, etc.  At times this was hard, other times it was simple, but as time passed, I found myself growing and changing in ways that I was – and still am for the most part – proud of.  There is something profound and beautiful about discovering things about yourself that you didn’t know were there and maximizing your potential.  However, as much as I find myself growing and moving forward with my life, there seem to be new questions, situations, issues, and the like that I am faced with.  I agree with the original post – as much as I would love to truly figure things about who I am and what I am meant to be doing, it would be boring to not have to face anything new in your life.   

I am a believer that the things we do in our life, the people we meet, the successes and failures all add up to teach us a lot about who we are and about the world around us.  It may be something simple like knowing what flavor of Izzy is our favorite (tangerine) or something complex like what makes us happy, but it is an opportunity to learn.  As I’ve said before, if you ever stop learning, you’ve stopped living. 

Often times this learning is hard.  It challenges you in ways you aren’t sure you can handle or truly understand.  You may find yourself stepping into the unknown, eyes closed, breath held, nerves out en fuego, knowing that you have to take this step in order to truly understand who you are.  It’s hard.  It’s scary.  But in reality it is something that we all have to do.  I can take some solace in knowing that even though a situation may be unique to me, we are all the same in the sense that we are all trying to figure out our place in the world. 

As we wrap up this month of thanksgiving, I’m thankful for the chances I have given my self to challenge myself, to learn, to grow and become the person I am today.  It hasn’t been easy, and it’s by no means a complete process, but it something I am proud of.  For those that know me in real life, I’m sure you’ve seen the results of of some of this, whether you know it or not.  I’m not a “new” Melissa – at least not in the sense that I am completely changed.  I’m a better Melissa, a stronger Melissa, a more complete Melissa, which allows me to be more for the people around me.  In spite of – or as a result of all of this – I am still (re)building. 

I’m about to embark on the next step of my (re)building process, something I am referring to as my 2 year plan.  I have a rough idea of what this will include, but I know that even if I try to plan each day, each moment, each experience there are some things that are just out of my control.  But I am excited.  I am excited about some decisions I am making for me, for my life, for my happiness and growth.  Nothing personal – I just gotta be me and work it out.  🙂  It doesn’t mean that I am going to ignore the things I am already involved with, I’m simply reorganizing things and trying some new things. 

I may have the band-aids in my medicine cabinet, and the dog, and make other things (not bread, yet) from scratch for fun and LOLs, but it doesn’t mean I have figured out my life.  It just means I have figured it out parts of my life and am working to figure out more.  It’s been a wild ride, and I’m excited to see where I’m headed to next. 🙂 

Be thankful. Be happy. Be in the moment. Don’t be afraid to do, be afraid of not doing. Embrace change and the unknown. Learn and share. Take care of you. Give yourself to others. Dream. Be the brightest star you can. Live.

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